Rooted Together: Marriage as a Means of Grace

After many years of marriage, we have come to believe something we did not fully understand when we began: God intends to use marriage not only to make us happy, but to make us holy. The daily, unglamorous work of loving one person well is one of the ways he grows us up.

Paul lifts marriage to a height few of us imagine when he writes:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Marriage, Paul says, is a living picture of the gospel. The love a husband is called to show is cross-shaped, self-giving love. And the trust and respect a wife is called to give reflects the church's response to Christ. Two ordinary people, in an ordinary home, are meant to put the love of Jesus on display.

Where the growth happens

The growth rarely happens in the grand moments. It happens in the small ones. In choosing to forgive instead of keeping score. In staying when it would be easier to withdraw. In serving when you are tired. In speaking the truth with gentleness. Each of these is a small death to self, and each one makes a little more room for Christ.

This is why the years matter. A long marriage is not just a long time together. It is a long obedience that slowly shapes two stubborn hearts into something softer and more Christlike.

A word of hope

If your marriage feels more like sandpaper than romance right now, take heart. That friction may be the very thing God is using. He is not wasting it. He is the gardener, and he prunes what he loves.

And if you are not married, the same principle holds in every close relationship God has given you. The people nearest to us are often his chosen instruments to grow us. Receive them as a gift, even when it is hard.

We are still learning this ourselves. But we can tell you the labor is worth it, because the One who designed marriage knows exactly what he is doing.

This is sample teaching content for the site. Clark and Kathy's own teachings will appear here.